la tortura I guess I got my hopes up too high too fast. And maybe that was stupid, I mean I only met him once, but I talked to him all the time. I thought we got kinda close, ok really close, but guess that it comes down to…I only thought. I thought something could happen…we could be the cute couple…and everyone would be jealous…but I was just counting my chickens before they hatched…’cause in reality we weren’t anything. I thought there was…and maybe I was right…maybe there still is…but ugh. Him: i wont have time to like chicks in like amonth Him: so there is no point Me: why do you say that? Him: u try 5/6 APs Me: :-( Him: i remember my schedule wit only 3/6 Aps Him: this is going to suck! Me: i guess there isnt really a point then... Him: for what? Me: nevermind Him: look... i cant be ur boyfriend Him: i wanted to do a summer thing... but it just didnt work out Him: and during the year... GAH! Him: my schedule will suck Him: ill only have time for bbyo basically Me: i see Me: idk what i was thinking... Him: now fun... and hanging out every so often... i could do Him: but not a full on boy friend Sam says that I was being led on, and I guess I was…so now I just feel dumb. This is why I refuse to fall for guys anymore…’cause right when you think everything’s right, and that he’s right, and he’s different than every other guy that hurt you before…but what it all boils down to is every guy is the same and now a certain song by maroon 5 comes to mind… And I don't trust you cause every time you're near your intentions are unclear. I spend every hour waitin for a phone call that I know will never come. I used to think you were the one. Now I'm sick of thinking anything at all...
so at the moment i feel ignored...and it's really pissing me off... so i try calling a certain person who i haven't really talked to for a while and miss him a lot...and his phone is off i guess...and around 2 he picks up and says i woke him up...and then hangs up on me?? yeah not nice...and i've been trying to get back in touch and it keeps going to his voicemail after 3 rings...ok pissing me off...so then i call my best friend in the world to comfort me and she refuses to give me the time of day...and right now it feels like no1 cares...
ok so the question of the night is why do pretty people get away with EVERYTHING? they think that they can treat people like shit...but guess what they can cuz everyone lets them cuz they're beautiful! take tonight for instance...laleh and i called a certain person who's name starts with justin and ends with slater and he was like dude yeah ill hang out with you...and he calls and is like dude ill call you back...and look now its 1:39 and nope...not there...but we cant do anything about it...he's flipping gorgeous and face it...we're not...he has tons of hoe's throwing themselves at him and quite franklly we're just not up to par...so yeah...just once i wish i was one of those people who were RIDICULOUSLY good looking and got everything i wanted...including rides anywhere...booze...and really hot guys...yup there you have it...maybe i should get plastic surgery...NOT
So right now i feel super lonely...i need more friends...i feel like such a loser sitting at home and going thru israel pictures...what's a girl to do...yeah and i miss my 4 hour conversations with Eedan...too bad he's in israel
Current Mood: lonely Current Music:Vacation--Katy Rose
freaked.. so i just realized that i have no idea what i want to do in life...its like im just spiraling forward into infinity (does that make sense?) so like i was talking to peter (who i'm madly in love with and he knows it cuz i tell him all the time)and we're talking about the army...and he's known thats what hes wanted to do since he was ity bity...and im like where the fuck am i gonna end up...? more on this later...kisses
things that need to be said.. Dear Adam, I just want you to know that for the past 3 days i've been thinking and praying about you non-stop...I am so worried about you..Do you remember what you wrote in my yearbook? well i do..i'm so glad we became friends...and i can't wait til i can get to know you better when you get out of the hospital...but that's not the most potent...you also said something about enjoying highschool while i can...weird huh? did something tell you that something would happen? or was it just conincidence? well i just want you to know that you're one of the strongest people i know and i know you can get through this...just hang in there..Adam, everyone is really worried about you..especially first period spanish...it's not the same with out you..just hang in there bud...we're all praying for you love gabi
so i didn't get elected RCVP...major bummer....im pretty much crushed...but now it's all been put in perspective because i found out that one of my friends had a brain annuerism (sp?) last night and he's now in critical condition...of course im worried about him...but what really upsets me is that he was fine yesterday...one day you're here and ok...and then poof something happens and you're not ok...and a blood vessel bursts in your head...and the you're in critical condtition...and you dont know if you're gonna live or die...and it could happen to me (GOD FORBID)!!! i dont know...im pretty much a mess right now over and out (but not for too long)
boy comes over boy and girl hook up boy trys to have sex girl says no girl is uncomfortable boy and girl are still hooking up girl is still uncomfortable someone knocks on the door some guy is like is ((boy)) here? and boy leaves girl feels like crying
me explaining my dream and other things... BrwnEyedGrl31905: i think im gonna just like kiss him BrwnEyedGrl31905: would that be skanky? hawaiibri08: no hawaiibri08: of course not BrwnEyedGrl31905: haha he was in my dream BrwnEyedGrl31905: and i was like dude what are you doing in my dream? hawaiibri08: lol BrwnEyedGrl31905: and hes like um maybe cuz you like me BrwnEyedGrl31905: and i was like oh yea hawaiibri08: awww hawaiibri08: haha BrwnEyedGrl31905: and then i was like dude...lets make out BrwnEyedGrl31905: and he was like ok BrwnEyedGrl31905: and then i woke up :-(
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buterycrossaint's journal
lonely